I am 30 years old and my only hope for becoming a commercial pilot is American Airlines Academy. So far I have 60hrs and 5 hrs solo all paid for with money I earned doing lesser jobs that I have no interest in doing. Right now I am a motorcoach operator (think greyhound bus driver) which I hate doing because I feel like a failure who settled for a lesser similar type job. Also this work limits my ability to schedule flight training because I always get called to drive on my scheduled off days to which if I refused would cause my company to give me little or no work assignments in retaliation which has happened at 2 companies causing me to have to change jobs and stop and restart training altogether. Also i have tried 10+ times to be a flight attendant but always fail at the video interview despite losing weight and working on so many aspects such as my appearance etc.
Since I don’t have anyone to ask to co-sign a loan, I don’t know anyone with an airplane, I’m not signed up for aopa or obap and cannot take advantage of their limited scholarships, what, if any options do i have to be a pilot? Right now I am so desperate for this dream that i even collect cans off the side of roads and out of trash cans for extra money. I’m willing to work hard to achieve my dream but I’m not getting anywhere. I need some advice or maybe just a little hope or encouragement because honestly I don’t know where I’ll be in 5 years. Right now I’m feeling negative, pessimistic, and cynical because I’d be happy as a flight attendant if given the chance. I feel like people just say find what you want and get it. As if I am too lazy and stupid to know what I want and go get it. I know what I want but am struggling to achieve it.