Hi there, my husband has his heart set on changing careers from journeyman carpenter to pilot.
He has pitched me too good to be true work scenarios more than once. This feels like one of them. He wants to make plans to attend ATP and eventually hopes to fly for UPS.
Let’s say he is able to do that. We have a 6 week old currently. What are anyone’s thoughts on this.
He would plan on attending in Louisville or Nashville. We live near St louis so he would be 4-5 hours away. I have an amazing job and we have a nice home so me and the baby would not be going with him. I hear it’s a major mental commitment and time commitment so I dont know how good of an idea it is.
We also have a community college near is that pairs with a 4 year institution to provide an aviation degree. He doesn’t want to go this route because he feels it will take you long BUT it would let him stay home with us.
Welcome to the forums and thanks for your questions. You will find that while we are pilots, we provide straight forward answers on this website.
Leaving you with an infant at home is going to be tough, there is no doubt about that. My ex-wife handled twins on her own, but I was in and out every few days and she was expecting this. It is really up to you two if you can handle something like that or not. Plenty before you have done it, but you need to make sure that you are in a good place and that you have a good support network in place first.
I would not relocate for training either, but you might want to think about it once he gets a job at an airline. Some pilots do chose to commute for work, but I would not recommend it as it is a major draw on your time. That being said, your job obviously needs to factor into this as well.
Your husband is right in that the aviation degree will take longer, at least two years longer, which could really impact his career at the airlines, but that balance will be something that you two need to decide on.
These are very personal decisions that only you two can work through. I would not start training with ATP with a newborn. There are 2 sides to that coin. ATP is not like a full-time job, it’s a fulltime commitment and it will require your husband’s FULL attention. For you it’ll be like he’s nearly out of the picture for 9 mos and for him, IF you should really need help or have any issues at home it’ll distract him from his training. Neither of these are positives. While I agree that a degree program will take considerably longer, it would also offer more of a compromise.
When I decided to change careers it put tremendous strain on my relationship and family and my children were much older than yours. Eventually it all worked out and I don’t regret doing it but I can’t say my family would agree. Ultimately again it’s your decision.
I would like to know more specifically what your concerns are. Are you concerned that he won’t be successful? Are you skeptical about the pilot shortage? Are you concerned about the pay cut he will experience for his first 5ish years? Are you wondering if he’ll still have time to be a husband and a father during the program and thereafter? Have you looked through ATP’s timeline and determined how much time away from home the program will require? These are the things that I would be worried about. I want to hear what you’re worried about.
You only mentioned your concern about him being home more often if he attends an aviation college. From that it sounds like that’s what you’re leaning towards. If so, I don’t blame you. Can you give us some more information about what you’re mostly concerned about? It would be helpful for me to know so I know what to focus on.
Thank you all so much for your input! I suppose my biggest concern would be him being successful. We’ve been down this career change path before. He painted a wonderful picture of how simple and seamless it would be and then when he encountered some obstacles it all fell apart. He also was offered a very well paying carpentry position that involved travel and he venomously opposed it saying he would never want to be away so often with a baby.
He again is making this pilot endeavor sound like a sure thing and is presenting what to me sounds like a too good to be true scenario. Any question or concern I throw out he dismisses. This is a HUGE monetary investment and although I know he’s intelligent enough for the rigorous program I’m wary of his follow through. I think he will either get upset with being away from our son or distracted with him and not be as diligent as he needs to be. I want him to be successful but it always takes a lot of pushing on my end for him to do or finish much if anything.
Ultimately I know there needs to be another serious conversation on our end because every case is different with different variables but I also know he probably needs a reality check and consider more factors than what he has in his grand plan. Nothing ever plays out as easy as it does in his mind.
The pilot shortage is real and there are certainly jobs out there for pilots who are successful in their training. That being said, the issues you are having (lack of follow through, indecisiveness, dismissing your concerns) would really be more appropriate to discuss in marriage counseling.
I was going to start by saying that rarely are things ever simple or seamless, especially a career change, but you said it yourself. Nothing ever plays out as easy as it does in one’s mind.
Becoming a pilot is not easy. Period. For him to make it sound like it will be easy tells me that he’s not being honest with you or himself. Dismissing alternative solutions so he can spend more time at home is also selfish and irrational. That sounds like a completely reasonable compromise to me.
I could go on, but I don’t think it would do you guys much more help. We’ve only heard your side of the story and I agree with Chris. These issues really are best dealt with professional counseling. We’re pilots. We can give you information about the program or industry. Everything else we’ve said is our own personal opinion and you know what people say about opinions…
Do you mind me asking what his motivation is? What is driving this decision? I really think that could be a good indication of how successful he may be. If he’s chasing money because he heard there’s a shortage, he probably needs to reconsider.
Something else I’ll offer up… In his case, it may be beneficial to begin his training at a local school rather than ATP. I say this for a few reasons.
First, it would allow him to get his feet wet in aviation to see if he has what it takes and has enough passion for it to continue to pursue it. This could serve as a “prove it” on your end prior to making the leap to ATP, which is a substantial financial burden as you mentioned. From what I’ve read, those that come to ATP with a private pilot’s license have a higher completion rate than those who don’t.
Second, it will also allow him some flexibility during the first portion of training so you all are able to get your ducks in a row as you deal with a newborn at home.
I came to ATP with a 6 month old at home, but with my Private Pilot’s license already in tow. I was also able to commute and be home every day, which was a huge help. Even still, it has been a tremendous challenge at times, and one that has added a burden to our household. This is the primary reason I ask what his motivation is. He simply can’t afford - both literally and figuratively - to be flakey once that decision is made.
All of your input has helped tremendously actually. He says his motivation is having an interest in aviation since childhood which I believe and seeing something recently rekindled those ideas I think. That being said, I also believe money is the biggest motivator. He often highlights the endgame of what he could do and how much he could make.
My middle of the night incredibly harsh discussion coupled with your replys have made me realize exactly what my reservations are and what I need to relay to him. I also really like the idea of working towards a private licence first and then completing ATP. Everything said about that option makes a lot of sense.
If money is in fact his biggest motivator that’s all the more reason for you both to think this through. Things are the best they’ve possibly ever been in this industry due to the pilot shortage. The positive is that if he’s successful in his training, once he builds the required time he will have no problems getting hired at a Regional. That said the Majors are still the pinnacle of our industry and the shortage has not had the same impact on them. Many pilots are fortunate to make it but many are not. This is not like a government job where you simply put in your time and you keep moving up. I have no reason to believe your husband won’t make it to UPS but I know many fine pilots with beautiful resumes who haven’t gotten the call for whatever reason.
Bottomline there are no guarantees of making the big bucks and if that’s really his primary motivation he needs to understand that.
Money should not be the biggest motivator in this decision. Sure, there are a lot of pilots that make really good money, but it is a long road to get to that point and it can involve a lot of sacrifice. Plus, some make it, others do not. If he just wants to make money, there are other ways of doing that which involve being home more.
I would suggest that your husband create a username and come join the discussion here. We would be happy to help him set realistic expectations for what this career involves.
I agree with the others. As soon as you mentioned money, I put a pin in that comment and continued reading.
This sounds like a fantasy that your husband has. It needs to be a passion. If he’s persistent, I agree with Peter. I suggest the he start with his private before committing to a full-time career program.
I’m in a similar situation as your husband. I’m 35 successful at what I do and continually get offered pretty amazing opportunities, but at the end of the day none of them have ever made me happy, mostly because they’re not rooted in anything I’m passionate about, and it’s all about the money. I’ve also wanted to be a pilot since I was a kid and there just never seemed to be a way to make it work until now.
My advice from going through this with my wife right now is that he should sit on the idea for 6 months or so and if still wants to do it then, then take a look at it then, or, as others mentioned, have him get his PPL close by to get him started, if he’s still into it, then reevaluate then. Another point to consider is if he’s really serious about doing this he should build out a plan for how he wants to do this: How you’re going to pay for it, What are the different ways he can get to where he wants to go (what are the different types of schools, where are they, what sort of timeline is he looking at with each of them), How does the process even work to get there, What does like look like once he’s reached 1500 hrs, what does his career path look like, What is his commitment to the family while he’s in training and what does that look like when he becomes an airline pilot…things like that. I think it’s important to do a pros and cons list with anything you do in life, and if you can’t realistically give an argument to not do something, your head is in the clouds.
I’ll echo what others said about not doing it for the money… If he’s not talking your ear off about flying to the point where you want to throw him off a cliff, you might have just cause to question is motives (just kidding…sorta).
I haven’t started my training yet, but from speaking with countless pilots from all sorts of career paths including a couple who fly for UPS out of Memphis…that is a very hard job to get, and generally you’re not going to get a job flying for a company like UPS for a very long time after you become a pilot. There are smaller cargo carriers that he could fly for in the mean time however.
With all due respect if you don’t have a 6 week old at home you’re in a very different situation than Olivia’s husband. Children change EVERYTHING, particularly priorities. Further whether her husband is “talking her ear off” or not is hardly an indication of his motives, intent or passion (different people behave differently). Finally some people make lists, some don’t, perhaps he has, perhaps he hasn’t. You’re making many assumptions about people you don’t know and training you haven’t participated in.
While your opinions are welcome I’d refrain from telling people what they “should” do.
Aren’t you making assumptions about people you don’t know? I was pretty clearly joking around about him talking her ear off…it was more of an anecdote asking her if she sees his passion to do this.
Sure some people make lists and others don’t, but if you’re on the fence about making a huge life decision like this, making a list can only help and not hurt. Sorry guy, but it is a pretty similar situation regardless of whether or not I have a kid, and I have a right to express my opinion on this board considering that’s what this board is all about. I was merely explaining what worked with talking with my wife and family about this.